what if every blade of grass was a penis?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
