hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
