MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
