Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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