if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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