just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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