im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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