so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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