Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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