my soul wont recognize me after tonight
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
