No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
How naked do you want me to be?
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