You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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