The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
