Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
