I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize