So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
