my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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