we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
as a side note pls kill me
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
