mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
