Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
There r osticjed everywhere
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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