I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
