Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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