Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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