Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I'm having to shit out rocks
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize