so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
