i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
