so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
