Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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