I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
