dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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