Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
