I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
