We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
