And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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