I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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