So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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