It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize