I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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