I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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