I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
