our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
