GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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