How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
