12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
