What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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