I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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