This girl is more easily done than said...
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
