is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
