I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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