Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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