When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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