I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
