You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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