All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
