ADVERTISEMENT

• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  It was only one, it doesn't count.

  Fav 30 1678 4396

  share tweet
  

• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.

  Fav 0 976 2692

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (513): View more from Ohio

  you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one

  Fav 9 2502 1060

  share tweet
  

• (815): View more from Illinois

  I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.

  Fav 14 3719 1202

  share tweet
  
• 

  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (416): View more from Toronto

  When did you hit me on the head with a stool?

  Fav 10 1170 1639

  share tweet
  

• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.

  Fav 1 1449 1448

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (201): View more from New Jersey

  My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.

  Fav 7 2850 885

  share tweet
  

• (865): View more from Tennessee

  I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up 

  Fav 3 1024 651

  share tweet
  

• (425): View more from Washington

  Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste

  Fav 5 1736 622

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (813): View more from Florida

  Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?

  (813): View more from Florida

  Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  Stop reading WebMD high.

  Fav 6 1416 649

  share tweet
  

• (224): View more from Illinois

  HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT

  (310): View more from California

  NO SHAME NOVEMBER

  Fav 3 878 594

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (731): View more from Tennessee

  I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...

  Fav 1 843 442

  share tweet
  

• (240): View more from Maryland

  Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that

  Fav 0 506 334

  share tweet
  

• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.

  Fav 1 211 154

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (757): View more from Virginia

  Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  "ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."

  Fav 0 44 9

  share tweet
  

Randomize