Texts From Last Night

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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.

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  (612): Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore. http://tfl.nu/3jmh
  Replies (15) Good night (4554) Bad night (1453)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.

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  (201): Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait. http://tfl.nu/ab90
  Replies (10) Good night (3073) Bad night (1079)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole

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  (940): You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole http://tfl.nu/t9xv
  Replies (15) Good night (3020) Bad night (1093)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.

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  (630): Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad. http://tfl.nu/cvju
  Replies (2) Good night (1002) Bad night (1813)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!

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  (845): Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE! http://tfl.nu/hm6x
  Replies (7) Good night (1240) Bad night (976)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.

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  (860): Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him. http://tfl.nu/pxbo
  Replies (4) Good night (1764) Bad night (595)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.

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  (401): The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm. http://tfl.nu/9ejj
  Replies (15) Good night (2605) Bad night (725)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.

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  (919): Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him. http://tfl.nu/jzxh
  Replies (2) Good night (1074) Bad night (714)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?

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  (484): Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain? http://tfl.nu/2na3
  Replies (11) Good night (1284) Bad night (919)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..

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  (412): I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk.. http://tfl.nu/mdzo
  Replies (5) Good night (904) Bad night (542)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.

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  (304): Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed. http://tfl.nu/uiwu
  Replies (4) Good night (1159) Bad night (383)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.

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  (506): There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet. http://tfl.nu/yw9h
  Replies (23) Good night (1182) Bad night (663)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!

  (1-910): View more from North Carolina

  No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!

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  (910): Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome! (1-910): No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?! http://tfl.nu/r3ev
  Replies (16) Good night (1783) Bad night (1026)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?

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  (267): I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins? http://tfl.nu/zr7p
  Replies (7) Good night (961) Bad night (406)
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  (585): View more from New York

  It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.

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  (585): It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope. http://tfl.nu/l7kb
  Replies (3) Good night (393) Bad night (191)

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