if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.