Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(941): View more from Florida

i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket

(212): View more from New York

Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......

(212): View more from New York

Really

(941): View more from Florida

You win

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(941): i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket (212): Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants...... (212): Really (941): You win http://tfl.nu/2qfe

Replies (4) Good night (2521) Bad night (678)
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(207): View more from Maine

I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.

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(207): I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking. http://tfl.nu/3fqs

Replies (27) Good night (3429) Bad night (969)
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(650): View more from California

hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.

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(650): hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america. http://tfl.nu/xe1m

Replies (7) Good night (2729) Bad night (823)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.

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(651): News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks. http://tfl.nu/z0bt

Replies (7) Good night (4811) Bad night (606)
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(818): View more from California

I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras

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(818): I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras http://tfl.nu/7rs3

Replies (16) Good night (5626) Bad night (644)
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(618): View more from Illinois

I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.

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(618): I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments. http://tfl.nu/a8pg

Replies (8) Good night (5992) Bad night (1106)
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(813): View more from Florida

peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week

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(813): peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week http://tfl.nu/lvga

Replies (9) Good night (2359) Bad night (1227)
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(812): View more from Indiana

I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.

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(812): I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice. http://tfl.nu/sig2

Replies (5) Good night (2516) Bad night (1204)
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(407): View more from Florida

You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.

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(407): You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that. http://tfl.nu/dvk8

Replies (20) Good night (3639) Bad night (1390)
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(310): View more from California

I'm so sick

(323): View more from California

I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.

(310): View more from California

That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..

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(310): I'm so sick (323): I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night. (310): That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy.. http://tfl.nu/0aa2

Replies (3) Good night (567) Bad night (1699)
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(703): View more from Virginia

I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.

(703): View more from Virginia

I want to have sex with him.

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(703): I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress. (703): I want to have sex with him. http://tfl.nu/1wj3

Replies (5) Good night (1322) Bad night (540)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion

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(615): That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion http://tfl.nu/imr6

Replies (3) Good night (753) Bad night (369)
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(309): View more from Illinois

my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"

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(309): my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school" http://tfl.nu/0p2q

Replies (4) Good night (522) Bad night (748)
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(513): View more from Ohio

I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.

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(513): I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move. http://tfl.nu/stfw

Replies (5) Good night (831) Bad night (338)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant

(401): View more from Rhode Island

and you were wondering how she got into Harvard

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(774): She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant (401): and you were wondering how she got into Harvard http://tfl.nu/kceh

Replies (0) Good night (767) Bad night (233)

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