cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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