Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
